Oh my god. What am I supposed to do with these kids for 50 more minutes?
This week I began my service work as a Bal Shikshak (Assistant Teacher), at the Harinagar School. The white walls of the school are lined with blue swirling Devanagri script, badly translated English fruits, and the only light is the sun shining through the window. I am sitting barefoot on worn green carpet, engulfed in a sea of twenty restless six-year-old kids that eagerly await my next game, my next trick to sneak some English into their brains. Around my feet lies the remnants of my “lesson plan”, ripped and dirty English flash cards, alphabet puzzle pieces that are already too disheveled to fit together.
Despite their bubbling voices and joyous smiles, I am drowned by an overwhelming sense of helplessness. How am I supposed to teach kids English when their teachers can only speak at a 3rd grade level? What do I do when they eagerly ask me questions in Hindi, but all I can manage is a weak smile and paltry malum nahi, I don’t know? Am I doing anything right?! Two kids begin fighting in the corner and the room bursts into excited chatter. I look around for some form of an authority figure to calm the class down, someone who knows what to do.
Oh my god. Where did the teachers go?
Searching desperately around the room, I set my eyes on a large book cloaked in grimy newspaper. Aha! Something I can do besides repeat the same words over and over. I open the book and almost laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of the contents. Of course…. it’s a picture book of esoteric birds that I have never even heard of, let alone know how to pronounce. Only in India would kids learn the difference between an Australian hornbill and a macaw, yet are unable to say the days of the week.
However, as the week progresses I stop counting minutes, stop listening my internal monologue of worries. Instead, I just make sure the kids are having laughing and maybe remembering a few of my lessons. Despite all my planning, I can never know how my presence makes a difference. Maybe the moments of peace when I took over the classroom enabled the teachers to improve their lesson plans, or maybe just the sound of my voice will help the teachers with their own English.
Oh my god. I only have two weeks left with these kids!
An American In Benares 